I’ve been challenged to sit, for ten minutes a day. Just sit, and be with myself in thought. Maybe it sounds easy to you, but it wasn’t for me. There are a million other things to do, places to be, go go go, right? Yeah well, the last thing I wanted to be doing was sitting. Still. For ten whole minutes.
That sounds silly. And dumb. And crazy. I can’t find ten minutes to just sit. What the what?! So I realized I am going a million miles an hour all the time. Just like everyone else in my family. No time to just be. I used to do that. It used to be my nature state. No rushing. No ‘hurry up’. Somewhere along the line I lost it.
So I finally did it. Ten whole minutes. It wasn’t bad. I didn’t say a mantra or anything. I didn’t get bored or anxious. Just sat, and thought, and paid attention to the thoughts. Sometimes I found myself writing chore lists in my mind. Then there would be am moment where I would realize it, say nope not doing that, then get back to just being.
Joy came up. How am I seeking it, what feels joyful, can I do more of it, what choices am I making. That was useful. It followed me through the weekend. Should I do this or that, it joyful, will it feel good? Seemed a good tack to take.
So here it is Monday. I didn’t sit the whole ten minutes. I need to set a timer, be disciplined about it I think. I feel the overdrive motor going already. Looking forward to yoga much later. Hoping to manage the work space in between.
Anyway, maybe something will come of this ten minute thing. At the very least maybe I will slow the fuck down. I just realized by the time I’m done writing it will be about ten minutes….I wonder if it counts…..